I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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