Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize