The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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