Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
