Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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