I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
