My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
