Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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