I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just found puke in my bra..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
