if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
