I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
