Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
