Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
