I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
