Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
