Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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