my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
