Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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