am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
