Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
