How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize