We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
