ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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