i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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