Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Someone shattered a urinal.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
