I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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