I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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