We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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