we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
