do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im holly from the hills drunk
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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