happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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