try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
