I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize