you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
