I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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