i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i believe in u and ur pee
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