im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
