Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Of course I have a pirate flag
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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