Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
