So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
