I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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