come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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