I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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