he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
