oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
should my penis look like a turkey
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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