is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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