I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
