imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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