Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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