I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
