Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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