i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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