I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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