no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
