pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
