what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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