That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
