Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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