Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
