That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
