Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
