My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize