I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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