In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
