I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize