We won't sleep together?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
