Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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