Non-Jews are for practice
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You ruined the universe
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
