Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
