I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
