Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
