I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
