I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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