wat bout pragnant strippers??
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
