her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize