Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
