Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she looked like the before picture.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
