I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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