Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
