I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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