"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I bet he comes in French.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
