dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
