4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
