i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
