Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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